The dream

It's 1.22 am. I just woke up from a dream. It's kind of a recurring dream. Super entertaining.

 Ok. Me, the wife, and kid are vacationing in central Florida, and for some reason, wanna climb this tower to look at flat ass Florida. Looks like Kansas, but greener. Of course you gotta pay, and of course I have no cash, but the tower guy, who is like a stereotypical late middle aged used car salesman type, offers to take me to an ATM. In his golf cart. Which he drives like a fucking maniac. Jumps the only hill in central Florida. Daniel thinks it's great.

This is a dream, remember. Won't make a lot of sense. Golf cart guy stops at a gas station, that's run by this Jamaican rasta dude. Goes in, does whatever he does, but comes out with fried chicken sandwiches for me and Daniel. Ok. We continue on. Jessica is waiting at the tower. 

We end up at the place where the ATM is, it's a restaurant, like an outback. That sorta slightly higher end than a tgifridays feel, like an outback. Daniel and golf cart guy say they will wait for me, as I go off to find the ATM.

Recurring dream, remember? The ATM isn't where it normally is. I go to where the waitresses fun the cards and ask where I can get some cash. The waitress tells me that they got rid of the ATM because it kept on getting ripped off, and hold out her hand for my card, so she can get me some cash from the till. She is wearing like a robe thing, black with flower pattern, very light, very see through, and nothing else but a smile. She speaks perfect franglish. Cool.

Another waitress appears, fully clothed in a tight fitting dress, and tells my waitress that her nipples are hard, and to go fix that. Then second waitress leans on me, nut to butt, and starts talking to one of her coworkers, while rubbing on my rubbing place with her butt. Sweet! Kinda like a low key lapdance.

This goes on for not nearly long enough, and then first waitress, who has taken care of her nipple problem, is done getting me my cash. But it's not cash, it's these coaster sized gold souvenir coins, outback bucks or whatever, but it's central Florida, so it's ok for some reason. It's full dark now, whatever we were going to look at from the tower is long gone, and I imagine that Jessica is, by this time, over the moon with delight over being kept waiting.

I get the out of the clutches of the dress wearing waitress, or more accurately, get her out of my clutches, and go find golf cart guy and Daniel in the waiting area of the restaurant, so we can go back to my wife, where I will tell her an extremely edited version of this. We are going to leave, but golf cart guy needs a bathroom. Ok, Daniel and i sit down to wait. Up shows the super gay waiter. He is oldish, late 60s, tan like George Hamilton,  and makes some small talk. This other oldish guy shows up, and they embrace and do the french bise thing to say hello. The gay guy says it's a good night for one of the three of us is clearly going out to get hookers. I look at Daniel, probably not him, vacation with mom and dad, and all that. I'm certainly not, I'm going to find my wife so she can murder me, because thats the kind of thoughtful guy I am. I look at gay waiters friend, because it must be him, and that's when I wake up.

Very entertaining dream. A cocaine fueled ride, and I didn't have to do any coke. 

God bless, and go fuck yourselves.

It's for me, not you

 112.8.

That's what I weighed in at a month ago. 112.8 goddamn kilos. 

So. Diet. Serious diet time. Since then, and I don't know the exact date it was, i have have lost 7.5 kilos. That's 2 average newborns, or a nice sized Thanksgiving turkey. Off my stomach.

I am eating 1 healthy meal a day, and all the fruit and vegetables I want. It sucks, but I am actually finding a bit of discipline. It's weird. I've never had discipline before. 

I am going to tell you something, that as a man, is kinda taboo. This just isn't what men talk about, culturally. Don't know why, just is what it is.

I think I have an eating disorder. I think the one I have is called "binging". I cannot not eat a whole bag of chips, or box of cookies. It's impossible. A whole pizza. I am completely addicted to food.

I think it started when my parents got divorced. My mom was keeping us all afloat, 2 teenage boys and a house, and she was killing it, but looking back, she must've been depressed, and I know she was overworked. She would send my brother and I to the grocery store for one of those bricks of ice cream, and we would split it into 3, and eat it all right then and there. I think that behavior formed my relationship with food. I think it may have helped form my brothers relationship with booze, which eventually killed him.

But. Last weekend I weighed in at 105.3. 112.8 to 105.3 in a little over a month. 

So, while I don't want to get complacent, I desperately want to remain vigilant, it feels good, man. I feel better all over, heartburns gone, no dad noises when I get up from a sitting position. I'm still a fat piece of shit, but a less fat piece of shit. If I keep it up, I might become a kind of attractive piece of shit. The possibilities are endless!

     Dear Republicans, Democrats aren't going to go away. Dear Democrats, Republicans aren't going anywhere. It sucks that Obama hasn't really kept many of his 2008 campaign promises, and likely won't, and it sucks that Romney is pretty much unelectable. It sucks that there is a recession, and it sucks that people from Mexico keep sneaking into the U.S.  It all sucks.

          But what really sucks is the fact that the war, the recession, the election, and a thousand other things has divided the people of the country. Brother against brother, husband against wife, neighbor against neighbor. People have died, for fucks sake, because Obama got reelected. Died. Dead. Dude got run over by his wife, for not voting. The civil war is on, folks. It's happening, right now, on your street, in your town, on your fucking facebook. Rather than put the election behind you, so many of you are taking out your frustrations on one another. Rather than trying to work to make your community better, you are taking potshots at one another.


           We are all human fucking beings. Democrats are no better or worse than Republicans, and if your team lost, then too bad so sad, better luck next time. Go feed a homeless guy. Go take a bottle of wine to the new neighbor, despite his stupid campaign sign.


            If you are going to let this shit pull you apart from your friends or family, rather than draw you closer, then what do you think that says about you? What message are you sending? 'Goddammit,if you and I don't share the same concerns about foreign policy and gun control, then we just can't be friends!' Really? Does it really not occur to some people that there are other things in the world besides politics? How about movies? Sunsets? Art? Food? Things that bring people together, rather than drive them apart? Fun fact: people in 30 states actually petitioned the Federal Government, demanding that their states secede from the United States of America. Because Obama won! That is INSANE!

Just a quick not to say this. If you have not seen the movie Vertical Limit, with Chris O'Donnell, take the time out of your day to miss it. Dayum, it sucks.

This last month.

Welp, my mom came to France for her annual 3 week vacation. AAAnd got real sick. She left today, 4 1/2 weeks after arriving. The last few days were great, but the bulk of her trip just sucked. I mean, she needed to go to see a doctor, then a day at an E.R., several days in bed. I think what caused it, is the stress of the trip itself, the flight is brutal, especially for a 70 year old,  how hard it is to leave her husband behind, and the fact that two of her kids are not getting along.Thats gotta be hard. And, predictably, trouble at home while she was here. Then the cat is away, the poisonous people will play. All that, I think, was just too much.

The last couple days, we just hit a couple museums, and the Chateau d'Vizille. Of course, it has just been hot as balls, and that will tire anyone out in a great big hurry.  So. Not a good trip for my dear mummy.  Maybe next year, if she comes.


Still, not an EMPTY month. We got a kitten. Well, Jessica did. Annie is her name, an she is full of cute and murder.  Here she is, with my cat, Taco. He is a good daddy.

She is pretty fuckin cute.

The Olympics. We all saw what we could, yeah? Well, as we were pretty much stuck here, I saw tons. I was left with a few questions. The bike races, you know, on the wood track? The rules seem to be completely indecipherable. Also, equestrian sports? Really? Its 2012, IOC.  Does the horse get a medal, or is that reserved for the douchebag on it's back? What a waste of time. Anyway, two weeks every 4 years is just too much pretending to give a shit about track and swimming. That said, helLOO, ladies beach volleyball!  Now THATS a sport!

Blokay. Thats all I got. Smell ya later.

One of these belongs to the University of California at Berkly

The other day was the 14th, Bastille Day. Lots of stuff going down round here, we recently got a new prez, Independence Day in the States, the Tour de France, and yesterday's holiday.

Happily, the 4th was just another day for us. We probably BBQed, I may,or may not have had a few beers. Every day here is a holiday.

See?

The Tour. I am kinda getting into it. It's on all day, every day, goes through all of France, the TV people show  some amazing shots of castles, natural formations, bitchen villages, and slices of French life. The whole juicing thing is kinda funny to me. As I see it, these guys are athletes, right? Competitive, by definition. Their lives are all about getting an edge over the other guy, the other team, country, whatever. Why not use steroids? Who cares? Look at a linebacker for any American football team. Does anyone really think that human beings are built like that? Look at these bike racers. From the waist up, they could be victims of famine, but the Incredible Hulk should have legs like that. They are friggin huge! Like, comically huge! And, of course,the poop face when they are sprinting for the finish line.

Poop face!

Yesterday was Bastille Day, French Independence day. There is the usual fireworks, and celebrations, and drunk driving arrests, as in the States, but the parade in Paris was quite different than parades back home. 4th of July parades are, and correct my if I'm wrong, High School marching bands, fireman, shriners, some floats, cops on horseback, and the like, right? I seem to remember a trucking outfit I drove for having a couple trucks in one, but that could have been a different parade.

In other words,this.

A good time is had by all. The parade in Paris was,at least the part I saw on TV, all military hardware, Firemen, cops, military aircraft, cop helicopters, and the like. Really impressive.

It was a hell of a show. At the end, there were these 4 elite paratroopers, they jumped out of a hovering helicopter, and floated down in formation, sitting on each others parachutes,like a ladder. 3 of them landed safely, without incident, but 1 landed on some cobblestones, and blew up his knee. Prez Holland is making the rounds after the thing was over, and goes to shake the guys hand. It was pretty cool. Here is a link.

http://www.francetv.fr/info/video-un-parachutiste-se-blesse-a-l-atterrissage-place-de-la-concorde_118759.html

The night of the 13th, we drove to Fort St. Eynard,

Here,

to see fireworks in and around Grenoble. Now, Grenoble has an elevation of about 200 meters, and the fort is on a cliff, above the Grenoble valley, at 1330 meters in elevation. Over a kilometer higher, with an unobstructed view. It was pretty cool. We could see, at one point, 7 different fireworks shows at once. My pictures suck, but here goes...

Super. Thats all I got. Peace.