112.8.
That's what I weighed in at a month ago. 112.8 goddamn kilos.
So. Diet. Serious diet time. Since then, and I don't know the exact date it was, i have have lost 7.5 kilos. That's 2 average newborns, or a nice sized Thanksgiving turkey. Off my stomach.
I am eating 1 healthy meal a day, and all the fruit and vegetables I want. It sucks, but I am actually finding a bit of discipline. It's weird. I've never had discipline before.
I am going to tell you something, that as a man, is kinda taboo. This just isn't what men talk about, culturally. Don't know why, just is what it is.
I think I have an eating disorder. I think the one I have is called "binging". I cannot not eat a whole bag of chips, or box of cookies. It's impossible. A whole pizza. I am completely addicted to food.
I think it started when my parents got divorced. My mom was keeping us all afloat, 2 teenage boys and a house, and she was killing it, but looking back, she must've been depressed, and I know she was overworked. She would send my brother and I to the grocery store for one of those bricks of ice cream, and we would split it into 3, and eat it all right then and there. I think that behavior formed my relationship with food. I think it may have helped form my brothers relationship with booze, which eventually killed him.
But. Last weekend I weighed in at 105.3. 112.8 to 105.3 in a little over a month.
