Fucking wow.

Please, I beg you, click this link, read the story, report back here for commentary. Share your thoughts.

http://www.denverpost.com/news/ci_19636151

I got a DUI in 1998. I was a truck driver at the time, but was in my car, not my truck. Got pulled over for having a headlight out. Not speeding, not swerving, a headlight out. I need to make it clear that I am not bitter about getting a DUI. I deserved it. I blew something like a .107, the limit at that time was .10, so I was over, and upon retesting it was a .87. Out of DUI territory, but still in DWAI land. Bad news for a truck driver.

So. On to the subject of this post. This goddamn cop. This motherfucker, number one, is pulled over for going 88 miles over the speed limit. If I understand it right, that is not only a speeding ticket, but at least a reckless driving ticket. Put the 2 together, and you, my friend are not driving away from that traffic stop. You are being driven. By a cop. On your way to jail. But this cop, on top of all that, was drunk. He blew a .089, over the now legal limit of .08.

Aaaaaand now, he would like his job back, please. I have something to say to you, former state trooper Derrick Curtis Saunders. I know that you are human, and should be allowed to make mistakes, but you, you cunt, you drove incredibly carelessly on a road like Gun Club, which, while not exactly packed with people, isn't totally empty, either. There's an airport out that way, and people travel that road, and they should not have to worry about some fucking asshole cop ( other than the other asshole cops, giving their chickenshit tickets out there), fucked up, or buzzed, or whatever not-sober term you wanna use, flying around in his car at 143 MILES PER GODDAMN HOUR. You are a cop. You have an obligation to hold yourself to the letter of the law 24 fucking hours a day, you fucking dingleberry. You are why most of the population hates cops. Because some of you fuckers are human shit, like you, helping the attitude that the rest of you dicks with badges have, us vs. them. You don't trust us, and we sure as shit don't trust you.   I have friends who have gotten DUIs, and they deserved them, but the state of ruination that they were left with.  I am not saying that there should be no punishment, but the hoops the state make offenders jump through, it ruins lives. The useless MADD bullshit. All they do is tell you that if you have one drink, in any situation, you are an alcoholic, and are a really super bad person. It's crap. The classes. Mine were in 2 segments. One was a class with a shrink, and the only reason I paid attention is because she was hot. Not real bright, but good lookin. And, of course, the message was, if you drink, you have a problem. Period. Its not true, of course, but there you go. The other segment was about how booze works to impair you, and it was really interesting. But the message was always the same. Secondly, you are an alcoholic, but firstly, give us money. I took those classes twice a week, for 8 months, at 25 bucks a pop. I had to get a lawyer, at 1000 dollars. I had fines, court costs, it all added up to about 3500 dollars, and that was a bargain. It was thought then, that between all those costs, raises insurance rates, loss of income,  at that time, late 90s, the average cost of a DUI was 10000 dollars.

I never lost my job. I never lost my license. I had a hearing at the DMV, and the cop who arrested me never showed, so I won, and kept my license, and therefore my job. I had to get a second job to pay for the DUI, but hey, I was driving drunk,, there should be some punishment. No doubt.

But the laws have changed. Now, if you have a CDL, and get a DUI, bye bye license. For a year. That means you lose your job. How are you supposed to pay your rent? Car payment? Because if you get a DUI, you WILL pay for your classes, and now your probation has been privatized, so you pay for that each and every visit, too. You will pay for this shit, and you will pay for it first, before you pay rent, or feed your kids. The state doesn't care. My point is, they claim that they want to rehabilitate you, but they don't. They want your money, and that is it. They get so much money from a guy who is driving drunk. He deserves punishment. Yes. A thousand times yes. But what they do is beyond punishment. Its rape. What they do is create, in a lot of people a vicious circle that ends in loss of home, family, and most of all hope for the future. For being .007 over the limit, and having a headlight out. Seriously, you would be better off holding up a 7-11, than getting a DUI.

Ok. This Denver cop says that his firing for being drunk while driving 143 miles an hour in a 55 with a passenger in the car is unfair and overly harsh. Really? Unfair and overly harsh? Lots of people, who don't get to carry around guns, and shiney badges, lose their jobs for getting DUIs. What the FUCK makes you so goddamn special, asshole? You goddamn Denver cops spent the summer kicking the shit out of people who didn't deserve it, and appealing those firings as well. Why the fuck do you dipshits feel so entitled? Unfair and overly harsh? You, Derrick Curtis Saunders, are a cunt. Fuck you. Go away. Go flip burgers. Stick your head in the fryer. Fucking jackass. Fucking jackass that took an oath to uphold the law, and protect the citizens of our fine land. He sure took that seriously, huh? This is why no one trusts cops. Because you will gladly fuck us, while helping yourselves. I am not saying there should be no police, but how about some trustworthy ones? Get rid of the bad ones ( Derrick Fucktard Saunders, and the ones who beat the fuck out of the guy filming them beating the fuck out of the guy who ran a light), and get some guys in there who really want it, and most of all deserve it.

That's all I got. Don't drive drunk, and do not EVER speak to a cop. Don't tell those treacherous motherfuckers shit without a lawyer. They do not give a fuck about your rights, and are not there to protect you. If they are talking to you, you are their enemy. Forget that at your peril.

Peace.

Blokay! T'was the season, and I hope y'all had as much fun as we did. Lets see. On Christmas Eve, we skidded down the mountain and over the hills to Jessica's mothers place, near Valence. Food was ate, drink was drunk, gifts were exchanged. Then, last night, off we shuffled to Magalie's casa, for a ' Diner de couz', a get together of all the cousins. More food, more wine, it was great. News most of you don't care about, but we do. Jessica's cousin Fred, and his chick Laurène, are preggers. They have been trying for awhile, and it's been really hard for them, and it is totally badass that a brand spankin new frenchy is comin. To Fred and Laurène, you are two of the nicest people I know, and I am really happy for you. Huge congratulations. Felicitations, amis. Gros, gros, gros felicitations. Shit, I hope I said that right. I do not have the ability to express just how freaking happy I am for you two. Best. News. Ever.

One of Jessica's other cousins, Stan, is moving to a tiny island, a territory of France, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Guadeloupe, and, to be honest, I wish I was fucking going with him. He works in radio, but I would bet I could find a Harley that needs an oil change. That, or sell bait.

Jessica has been sick as the proverbial dog. Coughing, hacking, no voice, out of breath, I mean, I thought I was going to have to put her down. As of this morning, her voice is back( fucking awesome), and there is some pep in her step.

ANYwhoozle, here are some pictures from the last few days. Hope you all enjoy.

Peace, love, Kool and the Gang.

These 2 pics are at the bottom of our mountains.  Snow up there, where we live, sun down below.

Sunrise from Claude's deck. Million dollar view, kick ass house.

A walk through the hood.

Big cock.

I wanna live in his one.

Patron saint of jackasses.

Last nights cheese plate. Smelled like feet, tasted like heaven.

Crap I been thinkin' 'bout...

The STRIP act is a thing that is supposed to prevent TSA 'officers' from wearing law enforcement uniforms and police-type badges unless they receive some sort of law enforcement training, which they currently don't.

Strikes me as a non-issue, other than its going to piss off the TSA, which is always good. The TSA has, in large part, contributed to the fact that travelers are considered guilty until proven innocent, and are completely intimidated by the TSA into removing our shoes, belts, hats, and either being scanned with dangerous machines or molested.

The American Federation of Government Employees said that the bill is insulting to the 44000 TSA workers it represents, and does nothing to add to our national security. They also said that every member of Congress should be supporting federal employees, not trying to demean them. That's a quote.

What bullshit. First of all, the TSA insults the American traveling public daily, so fuck them. Furthermore, every member of Congress should, first and foremost, support their constituents, and do what they can to protect their constituents from such intrusive.... bullshit.


Oh well. On a lighter note, Congress is enjoying an all time low 11% approval rating. Hi-oohh!

I have been accused of  'hating' on the U.S., because I live in France, and if I'm bitchin, I'm bitchin about the States. That is true, but I do not hate the States. I love it. It's the motherland. I miss the motherland terribly. I live here because I want to, and I miss my other home. I'm allowed. Plus, my French sucks, so I read American newspapers for what is going on in the world. American news sources tend to focus on... America.

In the past week or so, here in France, teachers have gone on strike, bus drivers and tram drivers too,  and now, our equivalent of the TSA is on strike. So the cops have stepped in. Looks like huge fun at whatever airport the news showed on TV. Huge lines, and sour looks on the faces of the cops, who I am sure are trained to never ever smile. And, a couple of summers ago, prostitutes in Paris went on strike. Badass.

Workers rights are very important here in France. Its not like in the States at all, where you can quit or be fired for nothing, with no consequences, except in extreme cases. Here, workers have rights, and the powers that be take it seriously.

I apologize for the vagueness of this next part, but I have something to get off my chest, and I need to cover my ass.

I have made some mistakes at work. Everyone does, nobody is perfect, but most people are allowed to get past it, learn from mistakes, blah blah blah. This is true at my job, but not for me, Like I have said here before, certain people have mistaken my lack of proficiency in French for being stupid. That's how it feels, anyway.

I know that some individuals don't want me to work there anymore, but firing me is difficult, and expensive. Workers here have contracts, and mine is unending. Has no end date. If it had one, it would be simple. Just don't renew the contract.

But mine is  unending. What some people  have decided to do, is make me quit. Its a form of harassment. They put the other mechanics to work on motorcycles, while I count nuts and bolts. The other mechanics go to Paris to further their education while I don't. I am lied to and insulted every day.

I really hate to admit this, because it feels like weakness, but I have been having anxiety attacks, I cannot quit smoking, I am really super stressed out because of this. So, yesterday I went to see my doctor. He actually prescribed Xanax, and gave me a doctors ordered month off. God bless socialized medicine. The French take the health, physical and mental, of their workforce very seriously.

The absolute worst thing is feeling like I failed. I have a very American ' shut the fuck up and get to work' attitude, so this. Seeing a doctor? Really? Its hard, admitting that I may actually have a problem that I have no control over. But, at least here in France, fair and equal treatment is a right, and when you don't get it, over time, it can be bad for your health.

I have compared it to this. I have worked in industries in the States where certain tan skinned people, who have immigrated to the U.S. from warmer, more southern climes have also worked. Generally, no matter how hard they work, how smart they are, how much they care about what they do, they are usually spoken to, and about, and generally treated like they are just a thing, a disposable tool, to be used and discarded. Not human. Its disgusting. It takes a special kind of person to see that guy for what he is, and treat him equally. I do not enjoy working for that special kind of guy. And because I am different, I also do not enjoy the fair and equal treatment the law says I get. It feel a lot like racism.

So that's what is happening.

SNOW!!!!!

It finally snowed. Like 2 goddamn feet since Friday. Sweet. Today was just the sort of winter Sunday I like. Got up late, to tons of snow. Dug out the cars, 3 of em. Actually, stood around and watched as a guy with a snowblower on tracks dug them out. Got em unstuck, and went to steal salt. Well, not really steal, I DO pay for it, as a taxpayer. But, our stairs get really icy, and it would really suck if the half a cripple I live with fell down the stairs. Plus, we got us a genuine pregosaur in the hizzy. Our neighbor is gonna have what looks like triplets any day now.

I am gonna explain the half a cripple thing. In October 2007, Jessica was on her bike, with Daniel on his,, and they were crossing the street in Morestel, where they lived, taking Daniel to school. Here, in France, there are clearly marked crosswalks, and you, the motorist, need to, by law, stop your fucking car when the crosswalk is occupado. 

A few minutes earlier, a woman, lets call her Ubercunt Shitforbrains, was running late. Her alarm had not gone off that fall morning, and she was going to be late to her job as a window licker, a job she had lucked into, as she was massively underqualified. She rushed out of her apartment that morning, only bothering to scrape a tiny part of her frost covered windshield. On her stupid car. 

Like this, only with a steaming pile of dumbass behind the wheel.

So, Ms. Shitforbrains didn't see Jessica crossing the street, in the aforementioned clearly marked crosswalk, following Daniel.  She plowed into her, on her bicycle, tossing both up into the air, and landing half on the side walk, half in the street, breaking Jessica's wrist, ankle, and nose. Long story short, 6 or so operations, pins, screws and shit in and out, lots and lots of pain, fear, and tears later, Jessica is just fine. By fine, of course I mean she lives every single fucking day in pain, can't ride a bike, Daniel still has nightmares, Jessica can't hike for long, ski at all,and I do not want her falling down the goddamn stairs. So. Do two things. Clean your windshield of frost. Completely. And have car insurance. Two simple things that Ms. Shitforbrains,  could not be bothered to do. You just might not really, really fuck up two people, and really, really piss off another. So, a short drive down the mountain to where they load up the salt trucks who lovingly salt our roads up here, and got some salt for our stairs.

Where fucking was I? Oh yeah.

Jessica made tartiflette. Tartiflette, as you may or may not remember, is http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tartiflette. It is just fucking delicious. On a snowy day, with a bottle of wine, the mountains, the cold tourists, Jessica's cousin was here with his ADORABLE daughter, a great Sunday.

The church in St Laurant. Bitchen light, yeah?

Peace.

Today

Today, J and I headed on down the hill to Grenoble. The plan was to hit the Xmas market. Its a thing the city puts on every year, they put up these little sheds, and folks sell their wares. Think peoples fair, Denver. only smaller, and Frencher. But first, the flea market. I took some photos and posted about this awhile back, its just people flea marketing their asses off, 4 times a year. Its cool. But, the Christmas market.

Man, I love this fucking place. Two words. Tartiflette, and Croziflette. Oh, yeah, Raclette, too.

Fuck, yes. These are traditionally winter dishes, that rely heavily on stinky cheese and wine. The city stuck most of the people selling this stuff in one spot, so just standing around and using your nose is enough to give you a serious food boner.

Anywho, I had some hot wine, which is the SHIZZLE on a cold day. J had hot chocolate, with Chartreuse. We found some terrible donuts, and life was good. We then hung out until the Christmas lights came on.

Peace.

News of the Awesome

In todays paper, an Oklahoma woman was arrested after spending 6 hours in a Wallyworld, trying to make meth, because she was too broke to buy the ingredients. This is just so funny and sad (there is a fine line there, sometimes). She was too dumb/ addicted/ lazy/ awesome to actually buy/ shoplift the stuff, so she tried to whip up a batch right there in the store. You know how there in the states, you now have to go to a pizza faced kid, and show your ID to buy Sudafed? She skipped that part, and thus was missing a key ingredient. When she was caught, she was, at that moment, mixing lighter fluid with sulfuric acid. The next sentence was going to be about putting that shit into ones body, but as someone who has smoked for damn near 30 years, and is trying to quit, again, it seems hypocritical. In October, in the same Tulsa Wallyworld, a guy was busted with a portable meth lab ( dibs on the name Porta- Tweak), in a backpack. Awesome.

Yet another celebrity was tossed off a plane for being an asshole. He was told to turn off his Ipad, because you all know how dangerous those things can be, especially when the plane is sitting at the gate, as this one was.

This guy, and I know you know who I am talking about, is, I'm sure, a super self absorbed douche. Therefore, he may have overreacted when told to turn his shit off. As someone who is probably told 'Yes' for pretty much everything. But he should not have been told to lose the Ipad. The plane was at the gate. What was the point of asking him? My guess is, just some bitchy flight attendant trying to flex some muscle. Now, the airline wants the FAA to FINE this guy. A spokesman for the airline said that he was quote, malicious and slanderous to the flight attendant. He probably was. But that was likely after the attendant made an unreasonable request of the passenger, and, if my experience with the airlines is any barometer, the attendant was a cunt first. These people think that they have dangerous jobs, and are the last line of defense for the aircraft. What bullshit. You people think you are real heros, don't you? 9/11 happened to us all, not just the goddamn airline industry.

So, the flight attendants union is demanding a fine. They say that they will drop their demands is the dude issues a public apology. Hey, how about you flight attendants  publicly apologize for all of your bitchy behavior over the years, or I demand that you fuckers walk off your jobs? I don't need you to get me a bag with 3 peanuts in it, I can get it myself. You assholes specialize in shitty overpriced service. You are a necessary evil. You now charge for bags, meals, and I am sure, you have people, full time employees, who do nothing but think up shit to make the public pay you for. Fuck you. Be honest. Either provide a service, for a fair price, treat everyone fairly, from the CEO on down to the unwashed masses you serve, or try and bend us over and have your way with us. But be honest about it.

You know, I get that handheld devices can fuck with radios, and shit like that. I get interference in my computer speakers from my cell phone. And I get that that is why there are rules in place for phones, and shit like that, while the plane is taking off and landing. But I can still turn on my laptop at 35000 feet,  right? is the plane going to fall out of the sky while sitting at the gate? Or is the 'danger zone' up in the actual air? You bullshitters, you say these rules are in place for our safety, but they are really there to establish your authority, and make us act like good little sheep, aren't they?

I just had a conversation with J, about Gerard Depardieu, about when he whipped out his dick and took a leak on a plane, because the flight attendant would not let him use the can while the plane was on the ground. She heard one of his posse, who was on the plane with him, and this person said he had been drinking, but was in complete control. Seems like a perfect commentary on airlines in general.

My job

I had a whole long post about my job, but then thought it might not be such a great idea to write about work. You know. Just in case my employers have found this blog. So, instead, here is some other stuff.

We finally got some snow. And it stuck. I think that Daniel and I are going hiking today in the snow. If I can keep from strangling him. Man, teenagers can be jerks! He just turned 14, and fuck, what a pain in the ass. But, I do remember how hard being a teenager is. Lucky for him.

Anywhoozle, J and I got him a nice watch. 

It was perfect, exactly what he wanted. He also got cash, from the famille. 

Christmas is coming, and I believe that we are heading to J's mothers place Christmas eve, then who knows where (Magalies?) Christmas day. Can't wait. Then, on the 28th, we are going to Morestel for a 'cousins dinner'. Fete de la Cuz. I am on  vacation that week. 

Thats all I got. Peace, y'all.

Police state

Last month, in Wolcott, CT, at Wolcott High School, a chilling announcement came over the P.A. system one morning. It warned that an intruder, an armed, dangerous intruder, had entered the school, and the kids were to kill the lights in the classrooms and get in the corner. I can only imagine how this must have felt to these kids, as children of the Columbine age, Virginia Tech, the shooting in Norway in July, and so many other crazy acts of violence across the country, and the world. Must've scared the fuck out of those kids.

The intruder wasn't real, you see. The school administration, or the cops, or someone made this story up, and for what? Why would anyone do that?

To look for drugs. To have the cops bring in their drug doggies and walk up and down the hallways, sniffing for weed in lockers.

Drug dog. Get it?

They told the kids that there was an armed man in the building, to get the kids to cooperate during a search for drugs. Which they never found. These are people who have been entrusted with the safety and education OF OUR CHILDREN.

I just can't believe that someone would be so stupid. What if one of those kids was related to a shooting victim? What if that terrified a kid so badly, that he or she now has PTSD? What about the next 'authority figure' who tells these kids to sit down and shut up, and is told to fuck off? What. The. Fuck?

It's incredible that this sort of thing happens. They had no probable cause, no reason to bring in the dogs at all, and looking for drugs isn't the problem here anyway. The problem is THEY TOLD THE KIDS THERE WAS AN ARMED AND DANGEROUS PERSON IN THE HALLS RIGHT NOW LOCK THE DOORS AND HIDE when there was no such person. What the fuck is wrong here? Is it me?

 I hope they don't wonder why their kids don't trust anyone over 30. They don't seem to have much of a reason to. I hope one, or more, of these kiddoes folks is feeling litigious. These kids could need a lot of therapy after this shit. That's expensive. And, some dumb fucker needs to lose his or her job. Anyone who thinks that this was a good fuckin idea, that just the guy you don't want steering the ship, know what I mean?

Of course, now they know just what treacherous fuckers cops and authority figures can be. And now they know why to never, ever trust their bosses, or the traffic cop that pulls them over, or anyone, really. Way to go, Wolcott. Way to break a buncha young people.

The online paper I got this story from, the writer said the if you want teenagers to trust you and what you say, its best not to lie to them. That means that kids aren't as fucking stupid as you think, Wolcott, Connecticut, you assholes. He also said that we don't as a society, set kids on fire so that they will take fire drills more seriously. Careful, dude, you don't wanna give those hayseeds in Wolcott any ideas.

Peace.

Turgiving

When I got here, I was really down. For a good 6 months after arriving on these shores, I was miserable to be with. I missed home, my friends, my family, all that is familiar. I was no fun to be around, and made my family here miserable too, just because I was bummed.

Me, 2 years ago.

Thing have since changed. Nothing around me, I have just stopped taking shit around me for granted, and started appreciating the things and people around me that, for whatever reason, have welcomed me into their lives and homes.

Today was a good example of that. Today we celebrated that holiest of American holidays, Thanksgiving. And folks, I'm not gonna lie to you, we did it right. The turkey was great, the company was great, the wine and beer flowed, the desserts were amazing. We had a baby, sullen teenagers, family, friends, the only thing missing was a football game.

Thank you to all my family and friends, for just being yourselves. You all got a spot right here. Thank you to France, for giving me a place to call home. Thank you, Jessica and Daniel. Thank you for everything.

I hope you all had a terrific holiday. I hope you spent it with those you love, and if you couldn't, I hope you know that you were thought of, and you were missed. I'm looking right at you, Sean.

Peace.

No title for you!

So. The most recent post here was about me getting lost in the woods. That day sucked for a lot of reasons,  not the least of which is I lost my cool-douchebag shades.

Snap into a Slim Jim!

All I need is some wrestling shoes, and Bad Boy Club pants, right? Oh, and a sweet mullet. Look, I know they aren't the most FASHIONABLE sunglasses around. But they have been all over the U.S. with me, are great on a motorcycle, or mountain bike, awesome on a snowboard, so there.

So today Daniel and I went and found em. We went, again, up to La Pinea, down the back side, and to Point 1321(I don't know why they call it that).

Here. See?

There, we ran into a hunter, got directions, and started hotfooting it down the road, the other way than last time, hitched a ride (Daniels first time!) with the same hunter and his buddy, and went on down to Proveysieux, and waited Jessica to come get us. Long ass walk. It's really great, you know, hoofing it around, with your kid, laughing, talking, telling fart jokes. I mean, I know that it's great wherever you are(hopefully), and whoever you are with, but if you can be somewhere like here, that seems to be conducive to what? thoughtful conversation? AND have the added bonus of being with a guy like big D, well shit. You got it made, mon ami.

Dalton?

This isn't fun anymore

Today, I left the house at about 10 this morning, I thought I would climb the little mountain behind us, and then cross the top of the ridge to the Charmant Som, then come down the road from the fromagerie. I've done it a couple times before, its not that big a deal. Some kick ass views, chilly breeze, and too many damn uphills. But, its fun, takes about 2.5-3 hours. A lot less, if you don't need to stop a lot, as I do. Today though, I was feeling froggy, so instead of making a right at the top of the ridge, I went straight(ish) to La Pinea, which is a meadow with a badass view of Sarcenas, Le Sappey and that side of the valley. From where we live, the surrounding landscape is several valleys heading toward different parts of Grenoble. Grenoble could be described as 'T' shaped. You go this way, you end up on the top bar of the 'T', you go the other way, you end up on the down part of it. Get it? Either way you are heading south, but either southeast, or southwest.

Dom dom dom.

 Anywhoozle, I went up to La Pinea, south of my apartment. Now, La Pinea, as I said, is a big ass field. On a slope. A steep slope, and at the top of the field, is these big ass rocks. Apartment building size. They look like teeth, and I think that's what they are called. Its the top of the mountain.  I'm feeling froggy, as I said, and went on through the gap in the teeth, going west, and down. I thought I was gonna end up on top of the ridge, on a trail I know, and back home by 3 at the latest. I keep heading down, trying to keep where I know my apartment is on my right. No bubbles, no troubles. Needless to say, the road I was looking for remained conspicuous in its absence. Then I started seeing signs for Col de Charmette, and I know where that is, it's way fuckin far from my goddamn house, and this is starting to worry me. And, I'm not about to climb that mountain behind me, but that is what I should've done. So I'm walking along, and I hear voices. Its a couple forest service guys. Awesome! I tell them I'm lost, and all that shit, while somehow managing to not sound too much like a 4 year old, and the guy tells me that its too confusing to tell me how to get back to Col de Porte, but he's gonna give me a lift to where the directions are easier. Off we go.

They turned me into a really good looking vampire.

Him and his buddy take me 4 wheelin (Land Rover Defender, 'So no one can find the bodies'), past Col de Charmette,  over to a logging road on the back side of the Charmant Som, let me out, and basically said, 'Go that way, angle to the right after awhile'. That way being up. Way up. After climbing for an hour, I got to the really steep part, I mean really steep. I finally made the top of THIS mountain, turned out to be the freaking Charmant Som! By now it was about 3 oclock, and YESSSS! Cell service! And, most importantly, I finally know where the fuck I am. So, I called Jessica, who was clothes shopping, and asked her to come to the top of the mountain and get my uber tired ass.

The thing is, I have a pretty good sense of direction, and knew that wherever I was, it wasn't real far from home. But I kept not taking the right path, for example I could have turned halfway up the second mountain, and ended up at the fromagerie, instead of the tippy top of the Charmant Som, but I wasn't sure where I was yet, and thought the the path I could've taken might just take me back down to Col de Charmette, and I didn't want to go to Col de Charmette , you know? And I hoped that if I got just to the top, I would know for sure where I was. I did. I could see my apartment from the top. What a relief. So, down the hill I walked, slowly, to the fromagrerie, and then J showed up, and here I am. Adventures suck when you are having them.

That peak right there in the middle? Where I started.

So, there you go. Chris gets lost. That sucked. Peace.