News of the Awesome

In todays paper, an Oklahoma woman was arrested after spending 6 hours in a Wallyworld, trying to make meth, because she was too broke to buy the ingredients. This is just so funny and sad (there is a fine line there, sometimes). She was too dumb/ addicted/ lazy/ awesome to actually buy/ shoplift the stuff, so she tried to whip up a batch right there in the store. You know how there in the states, you now have to go to a pizza faced kid, and show your ID to buy Sudafed? She skipped that part, and thus was missing a key ingredient. When she was caught, she was, at that moment, mixing lighter fluid with sulfuric acid. The next sentence was going to be about putting that shit into ones body, but as someone who has smoked for damn near 30 years, and is trying to quit, again, it seems hypocritical. In October, in the same Tulsa Wallyworld, a guy was busted with a portable meth lab ( dibs on the name Porta- Tweak), in a backpack. Awesome.

Yet another celebrity was tossed off a plane for being an asshole. He was told to turn off his Ipad, because you all know how dangerous those things can be, especially when the plane is sitting at the gate, as this one was.

This guy, and I know you know who I am talking about, is, I'm sure, a super self absorbed douche. Therefore, he may have overreacted when told to turn his shit off. As someone who is probably told 'Yes' for pretty much everything. But he should not have been told to lose the Ipad. The plane was at the gate. What was the point of asking him? My guess is, just some bitchy flight attendant trying to flex some muscle. Now, the airline wants the FAA to FINE this guy. A spokesman for the airline said that he was quote, malicious and slanderous to the flight attendant. He probably was. But that was likely after the attendant made an unreasonable request of the passenger, and, if my experience with the airlines is any barometer, the attendant was a cunt first. These people think that they have dangerous jobs, and are the last line of defense for the aircraft. What bullshit. You people think you are real heros, don't you? 9/11 happened to us all, not just the goddamn airline industry.

So, the flight attendants union is demanding a fine. They say that they will drop their demands is the dude issues a public apology. Hey, how about you flight attendants  publicly apologize for all of your bitchy behavior over the years, or I demand that you fuckers walk off your jobs? I don't need you to get me a bag with 3 peanuts in it, I can get it myself. You assholes specialize in shitty overpriced service. You are a necessary evil. You now charge for bags, meals, and I am sure, you have people, full time employees, who do nothing but think up shit to make the public pay you for. Fuck you. Be honest. Either provide a service, for a fair price, treat everyone fairly, from the CEO on down to the unwashed masses you serve, or try and bend us over and have your way with us. But be honest about it.

You know, I get that handheld devices can fuck with radios, and shit like that. I get interference in my computer speakers from my cell phone. And I get that that is why there are rules in place for phones, and shit like that, while the plane is taking off and landing. But I can still turn on my laptop at 35000 feet,  right? is the plane going to fall out of the sky while sitting at the gate? Or is the 'danger zone' up in the actual air? You bullshitters, you say these rules are in place for our safety, but they are really there to establish your authority, and make us act like good little sheep, aren't they?

I just had a conversation with J, about Gerard Depardieu, about when he whipped out his dick and took a leak on a plane, because the flight attendant would not let him use the can while the plane was on the ground. She heard one of his posse, who was on the plane with him, and this person said he had been drinking, but was in complete control. Seems like a perfect commentary on airlines in general.